52-year-old grandmother spends $1000 on brand new school supplies for granddaughter, her dad complains that the money didn't go towards helping him pay child support instead: "[It's] his responsibility"

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    AITAH for buying my granddaughter school supplies instead of paying towards my stepson's back child support?

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    I've (52f) married to my husband for 8 years. We both have adult children from previous relationships.
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    My stepson is 31 is sort of shiftless in employment. He works sometimes, works for cash, works out of state on temporary jobs, etc. He's has never worked a regular, steady job.
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    He generally does odd jobs until he falls behind in all his bills. Then he takes a temporary job (usually construction, out of state). He'll hire on with a crew remodeling
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    Walmarts or doing a 'plant turnaround' (don't ask because I have no idea what that means) and make like $2500/
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    week but the job only lasts 4-6 weeks. He gets caught up on bills and goes back to doing odd jobs until he falls behind again.
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    He has an 11 year old that he sees sometimes, depending on his work schedule.
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    He's $2000 behind in child support and paying enough every month to keep it from getting turned over to enforcement.
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    My granddaughter called me and asked me to buy her school stuff. I took her shopping and got her clothes, shoes, school jacket, PE
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    uniform and supplies. My stepson was cleaning the pool (we pay him) when we got home and helped us unload the stuff from my car.
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    After her mom picked her up, he approached me and asked how much I spent. I didn't keep track, so I didn't know
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    right off. He was annoyed and said it had to be close to $1,000 which is half of what he owes in back child support.
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    My stepson thinks I'm an AH because I didn't pay the money towards his back child support and let her mom take her shopping. 'because that's what child support is for.'
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    My husband has no opinion about it. I think his child support is his responsibility and if I want to buy my granddaughter nicer things than her parents can afford that's got
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    nothing to do with him owning her basic support. Her mom appreciates that I buy things she can't afford to provide. She's
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    used to the way he pays support, knows she can't count on it for monthly expenses but also knows she'll eventually get it and uses it for big, once in a while expenses (like new tires for her car).
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    2dogslife Wanna bet that the minute his kid no longer has mandated CS, stepson gets a FT job?
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    His bad behavior and choices are not on you. Part of being an adult is paying your debts. You did something nice for his kid, the only words out of his mouth should have been, "Thank you."
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    - CupcakeWhirl_0101 NTA Child support is a parent's responsibility, not a grandparent's. Your money, your choice.
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    LinaBean28 So he would rather you give that money to help him pay off his own debt, rather then that money actually go to the primary parent
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    whos footing the costs of practically everything??? Sounds like a deadbeat to me. I think we can all agree you are not the a hole here.
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    Heres the thing, he could easily have that paid off in 2 weeks doing one of those temporary jobs that pays $2500 a week. But
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    he doesnt. Why is that? Because hes a deadbeat. You arent responsible to clean up his mess. Hes just mad because you are making him look bad in comparison.
  • 27
    shyfidelity NTA. The shopping trip was a gift for your granddaughter. Your stepson is massively entitled.

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